Confessions

So here’s the thing: I’ve developed a sinful habit of gossiping and speaking ill of other people. My reasons for doing so aren’t rational, but I chop it up to wanting to make myself feel important, and fit in amongst my peers.

God has placed the names of a few people that come to mind that I’ve done wrong to, and the reason I’m admitting to my downfalls today; I see that what I’m doing is far from the goodness of God, and for only his sake, I need to make myself right and reveal the hollow sin in my life.

For you, all known to God that I have been mean to and criticized, I am sorry for what I have said about you, and I how I have treated you. It is not right, nor is there an excuse.

I’m regretful of what I’ve done, what I have said, and moreover, how this habit has separated me from one of the most important aspects of my call as daughter of Jesus Christ: to love one another.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

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For My Joe

Oh, my Joe…

I’ve never adored someone as much as I do you; I thought I had a first love already, then I managed to miss you more, love you more, want you more. And most.

These past 6 months of being married have been at best, the most wonderful times and saddest times of my life. Thank God I have Robert to cuddle at night…I’m of course talking about the teddy bear, Robert (that name was your idea might I remind you).

I’m tired of wishing, and I know someday I won’t have to…I’ll be cuddled up next to you. Right where I meant to be; the safest place for me is anywhere you are.

Your spirit is perfect for mine; I know God is behind our harmony. Like all the rest of life…how has he made such a thing that exceeds me.

I’m honoured that you are mine, and I am yours. I love you further than what my arms can stretch, and beyond any words I can write. My husband, my love.

Hey : An okCupid Success

It all started with, ‘Hey.’ 

I had just turned 20 years old, and I felt ready to pursue a serious relationship. 
So like any young person these days, I hopped on various online dating apps, including okCupid, and I began my search for said ‘serious relationship.’ 

As a Christian, I hoped to find someone who shared the same foundations as myself, but I was rudely left with only a few matches that fit my compatibility, and I was very unsatisfied by my results.  

Before I flipped the preverbal table of finding true love, I had the grande idea of modifying my location settings to, if I remember correctly…WORLDWIDE. And boy, did that make a world of difference! 

I scrolled for only a moment, and then Joe caught my thumb – he was really cute. 
I clicked. I read. I liked what I saw. 

It all started with, ‘Hey.’ 

Our first conversation on okCupid, turned into long-windy Facebook chats about strange oddities, and questions to figure each other out. Him living in Utah, and I in Canada, had us wondering more about the words we said, but also how we said them; this turned into a surprisingly smooth first Skype call, and then 6 months worth of all of the above. 

I was calling Joe my boyfriend in November, and I hadn’t even held his hand yet. #crazy 

The crazy continued, and we met for the first time in person on January 20th, 2015. We spent the week piecing together all the conversations over text message and Skype; he was a tall-standing 6 foot 4 inches, and I was very pleased by this guy who had caught my thumb a mere few months ago. 

Soon after he left it was my turn to visit; by May of 2015, I flew to Utah, met all of his immediate family, attended his church, met his friends, coworkers, and realized that Joe and this special Utah place, had changed my life as I knew it. 

Today, in May of 2017, I currently live in Canada. I have a dazzling ring fitted on my left hand, and a full heart awaiting a visa allowing me to close the gap between my truest love. 

2 years and 4 months of distance, 6 visits between countries, tons of ‘I miss you’s,’ and I love you more. This is us and, 

It all started with, ‘Hey.’ 

Seventeen & Eighteen

I am writing this in the 19th week of 2017. I’m still harmonizing with the joy, and feelings of week 17/18. I’m absolutely beaming. 
Today, I thank God. 
I made a vow to my Heavenly Father – my God whom I’ll love my whole life through – that nothing will come between us, and that He has my love, my friendship, and my soul until the very end. Amen to our God, and the artist of true love! How blessed I am to know Him. 

It seems that in giving my heart away to Him, I received a wonderful gift in return;
For he – my equal in faith – best friend, lover, and precious partner for life, I love you in all the ways I can, and all the ways God has intended. 
I am consumed by our God, and I am consumed by you; you remain in my memory and my future alike, and my heart for you is an immaculate blessing! 
Today, I thank God. 
“My lover is mine, and I am his.” 

– Song of Solomon 2:16

Honeycomb Home

13 Eat honey, my son, for it is good;
    honey from the comb is sweet to your taste.
14 Know also that wisdom is like honey for you:
    If you find it, there is a future hope for you,
    and your hope will not be cut off.

Proverbs 24:13-14

I always want to begin by saying that I don’t know where to begin. It just sounds like a loaded opening statement that prepares the reader, and emphasizes something they need to pay close attention to. I imagine it to be an eloquent way of saying that I have some good news, and that I am even preparing myself for the grande ideas I’m consciously spilling all over this pristine white screen.

God has been working on me; He has been building my character, providing opportunities in my career, testing my maturity, advancing my faith, and, my very favorite, improving my sight of his work in my life. I have real, tangible, and substantial grace working on me every single day.

God has aligned my existence so immaculately to Him, and weaved the time, the love, and the direction of where I’m going so seamlessly. Of course there have been bumps along the way but, at I have a guiding Father to help me along,

The Lord is my strength and my shield;
    my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
    and with my song I praise him.

Psalm 28:7

With all excitement I can say that my sights are set high in valley’s and mountains – cascading through canyons – rolling over hills – and wandering down long roads of God-breathed beauty!

With my heart I can see clear reflections of a man who reflects the one true God – I hope to give my heart to that wonderful guy all the times that it beats. He is where I will begin and will be my constant reminder of the joys of living right now, the blessings of Christ, and the good news that I’ll constantly have wrapped around my heart.  

I give thanks for this time in my life, and looking forward to the evolving plans of God. 

Here is where I begin. 

16 Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.

John 1:16


 

Mustard Seeds

He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.  Matthew 13:31-32

I realized today in church that I’ll be doing some major ‘seed planting’ this year, next month, a few years, and preferably, a lifetime from now. 

Today, I was mainly fixed on the idea that next month I’ll have a new birthday. I’m getting baptized!

I turned 22 in June, but as of August I’ll be a bright, glowing, puffy – eyed newborn —- taking my first breathes of God-renewed life as a born-again, Christian. 

I’m thrilled to be taking the plunge (literally) and professing all that I have been given in life, back to the Creator of my life! 

My life-long commitment —- I’m sewing my soul with my greatest discovery, my truest friend, and my only hope. 

I’m not even there yet, and I’m feeling a mountains worth of grace-upon-grace-upon- grace. 

Look out trees…I’m’a comin’ 



Sadness

Sometimes I take for granted the task of writing things down; the wonders it does for those who have so many words and feelings written on the heart. Almost like graffiti that I can stand to look at and appreciate, “Oh, that’s actually nice.” 

It’s a shame I’ve given it a break. 

Especially when I’m down in the dumpster of sadness. 
This guy whom I somehow thought up all my life, has been living all his life, and has now taken my heart, and my whole life too. 

That movie, those songs, things not relatable all — as if they’re meant to — lead back to you. I really can’t get away. These things can run into me if they want to — in fact, I encourage it. I want to be touched by you some how. There’s quite a ridiculous distance between. My love goes a ridiculous distance, anyway.