A Great Hold

I’m more honest in my writing when sleep is asking why I’m still up…
I’ve been prompted to write my heart, and here it is, 
I have a great hold on my life; a grasp on my heart that can’t let go. Won’t let go. And I ask, ‘don’t let go.’ Could this be God? Yes, I believe it very much is. Could it just be me…thinking too much? Yes, I believe it very much is.  

Is this great grasp comfortable? Yes, but no. Is this great grasp effective? Yes, but no. 

I listened to a very good sermon today; observing topics of how God, in the beginning, gave Adam and Eve a rightful spot in creation; they were perfection along with the rest of God’s work. But then they turned away. They were evicted. God removed their position, and cast them out of His detailed picture. They wore sin as clothing, and they realized it. But still…there was a great hold on their life. 

The time of Easter is a road map that God asks us to follow. His work of painting us in, and out of the Garden, but seeking us to come back — dying on a tree for me /shedding his blood/ casting His soul so mine can return. Back. 

This is my great hold: 

  • The keystone that leads my heart is my Lord-the Saviour- Jesus. This great hold is grasping so tenderly for my attention, my mind, my heart. Here it is — I give you all of it, and the broken beats. Here, oh God, take back the heart that you made, and give it a life-beat, a heart-beat that remains in you. 
  • My love, this is for you. I choose to remain in you — even though, like them, I strayed from the Garden. I will always come back. I choose you! You are my first human choice —- under my heavenly choice. You have the heart I imagine Him to have too. This is why I love you. You have a great hold on me. You are my loveliest gift, and truest hope in life. Shalom, you are my peace. 

As this week follows, I pray for a great hold on the world. That the world will find His outstretched palm – the One who lays his life on behalf of his friends – Jesus – the One with a great hold over me. 

Amen

Advertisements

Honeycomb Home

13 Eat honey, my son, for it is good;
    honey from the comb is sweet to your taste.
14 Know also that wisdom is like honey for you:
    If you find it, there is a future hope for you,
    and your hope will not be cut off.

Proverbs 24:13-14

I always want to begin by saying that I don’t know where to begin. It just sounds like a loaded opening statement that prepares the reader, and emphasizes something they need to pay close attention to. I imagine it to be an eloquent way of saying that I have some good news, and that I am even preparing myself for the grande ideas I’m consciously spilling all over this pristine white screen.

God has been working on me; He has been building my character, providing opportunities in my career, testing my maturity, advancing my faith, and, my very favorite, improving my sight of his work in my life. I have real, tangible, and substantial grace working on me every single day.

God has aligned my existence so immaculately to Him, and weaved the time, the love, and the direction of where I’m going so seamlessly. Of course there have been bumps along the way but, at I have a guiding Father to help me along,

The Lord is my strength and my shield;
    my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
    and with my song I praise him.

Psalm 28:7

With all excitement I can say that my sights are set high in valley’s and mountains – cascading through canyons – rolling over hills – and wandering down long roads of God-breathed beauty!

With my heart I can see clear reflections of a man who reflects the one true God – I hope to give my heart to that wonderful guy all the times that it beats. He is where I will begin and will be my constant reminder of the joys of living right now, the blessings of Christ, and the good news that I’ll constantly have wrapped around my heart.  

I give thanks for this time in my life, and looking forward to the evolving plans of God. 

Here is where I begin. 

16 Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.

John 1:16


 

Mustard Seeds

He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.  Matthew 13:31-32

I realized today in church that I’ll be doing some major ‘seed planting’ this year, next month, a few years, and preferably, a lifetime from now. 

Today, I was mainly fixed on the idea that next month I’ll have a new birthday. I’m getting baptized!

I turned 22 in June, but as of August I’ll be a bright, glowing, puffy – eyed newborn —- taking my first breathes of God-renewed life as a born-again, Christian. 

I’m thrilled to be taking the plunge (literally) and professing all that I have been given in life, back to the Creator of my life! 

My life-long commitment —- I’m sewing my soul with my greatest discovery, my truest friend, and my only hope. 

I’m not even there yet, and I’m feeling a mountains worth of grace-upon-grace-upon- grace. 

Look out trees…I’m’a comin’ 



Sadness

Sometimes I take for granted the task of writing things down; the wonders it does for those who have so many words and feelings written on the heart. Almost like graffiti that I can stand to look at and appreciate, “Oh, that’s actually nice.” 

It’s a shame I’ve given it a break. 

Especially when I’m down in the dumpster of sadness. 
This guy whom I somehow thought up all my life, has been living all his life, and has now taken my heart, and my whole life too. 

That movie, those songs, things not relatable all — as if they’re meant to — lead back to you. I really can’t get away. These things can run into me if they want to — in fact, I encourage it. I want to be touched by you some how. There’s quite a ridiculous distance between. My love goes a ridiculous distance, anyway. 

truly complete 

Something I’ve learned from the Bible is this: God is the essential to life and love; holding our smallest wants to our grandest purposes between his almighty palms. Evidently we are lost without God; his imprint on our hearts and lives is necessary to fill us completely, otherwise we turn to the world for this ‘fill’ instead.

 


 

Me Before You inspires a tender message of the power of compassion, the complexities of life, love, and also has two really good Ed Sheeran songs.

I was swept up one summer’s eve, when I saw the movie trailer about a physically disabled man and his caregiver falling in deep L-O-V-E, love. Aside from the appropriateness of this relationship, one is quickly clued in as to why this story will indeed, rip. your. heart. out.

The charming but disturbed leading man, Will Traynor, and the adorable but clueless, Louisa Clark, take us on a journey of what it’s about to ‘live bodly,’ while tackling the controversial ideas of choosing to die when the boldness of life seem impossible to attain.

Throughout the story, one naturally sympathizes with Will Traynor; a young man who once lived on the highest levels of success, adventure, and excitement — now after years of little improvement and compromised goals, he is left bitter, depressed, and tormented by the limitations of his life as a quadriplegic man; this which encourages his conclusions of ending his own life after the duration of six months.

Admirably Louisa is set on changing his mind, and takes it upon herself to think up fun/inspiring ideas to help Will realize the value to his life and her love for him despite his focus on his own disabilities. Her professional role as caregiver quickly turns to an urgent personal responsibility of fighting for life, love, and hope.

The final impression from this story was partly inspirational, incredibly sweet, and sad. It goes to show that I’ll always be a sucker for anything lovely-dovey, and anything A Walk to Remember-ish. I loved this book/film, but I’m left with that half-hearted feeling…like something didn’t quite settle properly.

Frankly, the love between two people fell short. All efforts failed. Sad, but true.

( *Hold the phone* )

How possible is it that the underlying innuendo of all this is that, everything falls short without God at the centre? When we depend solely on ourselves or each other, and do not look to God, the perfect author, maker, and teacher of completeness, we are headed for complete despair.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.  The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6

God is the only avenue of true love and life. We can rely on ourselves but love from God is the only thing that can truly save us. He is a faithful lover of his creation, and He hopes for us to naturally seek him to find ultimate completeness in Him. He is the only way we can completely love, completely live, and completely change and transform our minds. He is eternal love and eternal life. We die without God, and everything else is an unreliable source.

Ultimately, I think the “tell me something good” message of Me Before You was meant to emphasize that life is meant to be lived, and not lived through. Everyone has the potential to be bold, and become their best self. But, life and love are gifts that don’t have to be accepted —- the choice is ours.

But God outlines a different option that unwraps our despair, and fills us with meaning, life, and love.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

 

 

 

 

The 5 Month Curve

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen for for what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18

I had my good cry already.

I cried because I came to the realization that May is not October, it’s a month that only happens in the fall, and it’ll be five months and a country away from another visit.

I’ve stretched my fingers into a large ‘L’ formation across my forehead to emphasize my sad conclusions.

Take that October! You’re an ‘L’ formation!

Rest assured, no matter the time, no matter the distance —- my heart will break from the absence but, the ache and the wait are forces I can withstand.

Take heart, God reminds us to,

“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually.” 1 Chronicle 16:11

I believe when God asks for us to seek Him he is thrilled by our desire, our intention to draw close, to praise, and to prioritize his truth in life. This is meant to be done always and ‘continually’ as the verse suggests.

I’m definetly a fan of setting new goals, improving my understanding and learn to better equip myself in the Word.

Through willingness and freedom through Christ, I want to take it upon myself as He did for me, and refresh the friendship that I have in Jesus; observe new ideas, places, spaces I have not yet seen. I hope to plant seeds in my spirit, and bloom more and more and more.

What better time than now?

—- Timeline —-

June 2016: Ephesians Devotional Series // Book study
July 2016: Philippians Devotional Series // Book Study
August 2016: Baptism // Colossians Devotional Series
September 2016: The Resurrected Life (14 Day) // Book study
October 2016: Proverbs: The Way of Wisdom (28 Day) // Book study
image

to love Him, is to love him

I’ve noticed a rather disheartening thing:

I haven’t picked up my Bible in a week, I’ve abandoned the devotional series I’ve been studying, and I also haven’t pinned to my ‘All Jesus Everything’ board on Pinterest for some time now. The gas is a tad low in the faith department.

It’s really been bothering me, and I’ve noticed that I’ve traded my precious ‘grace’ time with God, for ‘screen’ time. It’s not good at all, and it weighs my heart with disappointment.

Though, awareness is key and this is something that I can change.

Another burning thought, or grouping of thoughts that I’ve been processing is that,I have never been baptized. * GASP *

I think if you listen extra hard, you can hear the universal hum of ‘HUH?!’ harmonizing over the rolling hills and valley’s across the Christian community. * GASP AGAIN *

These past few years, I don’t hesitate to acknowledge that I am a follower of Christ. I believe this is my most valuable area of development thus far.

But in all seriousness, baptism should not be dependent on how others feel, but in fact a declaration about how you feel about God; it’s a public ‘I love you,’ that God influences Christians to say just at the right time.

Ever since I began dating the wonderful man in my life, baptism has been a pending thought on my heart and mind. I feel God’s boundless love emulated through my relationship, and this has been a consistent sentiment of God since it began. I’m never short of my I love you’s in my relationship, but I know I have to put this in to practice to the one who allows me to say this: God.

So, what better gift to give than my life back God? He has redeemed my soul, walked with me through all my experiences, and given me the desire to seek him.

Before I commit myself to a man, I must let God be the first to know that I am committed to Him.

May my faith and love continue to flourish, and my heart sing a lifetime of praises!

To love Him, is to love him.