Mustard Seeds

He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.  Matthew 13:31-32

I realized today in church that I’ll be doing some major ‘seed planting’ this year, next month, a few years, and preferably, a lifetime from now. 

Today, I was mainly fixed on the idea that next month I’ll have a new birthday. I’m getting baptized!

I turned 22 in June, but as of August I’ll be a bright, glowing, puffy – eyed newborn —- taking my first breathes of God-renewed life as a born-again, Christian. 

I’m thrilled to be taking the plunge (literally) and professing all that I have been given in life, back to the Creator of my life! 

My life-long commitment —- I’m sewing my soul with my greatest discovery, my truest friend, and my only hope. 

I’m not even there yet, and I’m feeling a mountains worth of grace-upon-grace-upon- grace. 

Look out trees…I’m’a comin’ 



Sadness

Sometimes I take for granted the task of writing things down; the wonders it does for those who have so many words and feelings written on the heart. Almost like graffiti that I can stand to look at and appreciate, “Oh, that’s actually nice.” 

It’s a shame I’ve given it a break. 

Especially when I’m down in the dumpster of sadness. 
This guy whom I somehow thought up all my life, has been living all his life, and has now taken my heart, and my whole life too. 

That movie, those songs, things not relatable all — as if they’re meant to — lead back to you. I really can’t get away. These things can run into me if they want to — in fact, I encourage it. I want to be touched by you some how. There’s quite a ridiculous distance between. My love goes a ridiculous distance, anyway. 

truly complete 

Something I’ve learned from the Bible is this: God is the essential to life and love; holding our smallest wants to our grandest purposes between his almighty palms. Evidently we are lost without God; his imprint on our hearts and lives is necessary to fill us completely, otherwise we turn to the world for this ‘fill’ instead.

 


 

Me Before You inspires a tender message of the power of compassion, the complexities of life, love, and also has two really good Ed Sheeran songs.

I was swept up one summer’s eve, when I saw the movie trailer about a physically disabled man and his caregiver falling in deep L-O-V-E, love. Aside from the appropriateness of this relationship, one is quickly clued in as to why this story will indeed, rip. your. heart. out.

The charming but disturbed leading man, Will Traynor, and the adorable but clueless, Louisa Clark, take us on a journey of what it’s about to ‘live bodly,’ while tackling the controversial ideas of choosing to die when the boldness of life seem impossible to attain.

Throughout the story, one naturally sympathizes with Will Traynor; a young man who once lived on the highest levels of success, adventure, and excitement — now after years of little improvement and compromised goals, he is left bitter, depressed, and tormented by the limitations of his life as a quadriplegic man; this which encourages his conclusions of ending his own life after the duration of six months.

Admirably Louisa is set on changing his mind, and takes it upon herself to think up fun/inspiring ideas to help Will realize the value to his life and her love for him despite his focus on his own disabilities. Her professional role as caregiver quickly turns to an urgent personal responsibility of fighting for life, love, and hope.

The final impression from this story was partly inspirational, incredibly sweet, and sad. It goes to show that I’ll always be a sucker for anything lovely-dovey, and anything A Walk to Remember-ish. I loved this book/film, but I’m left with that half-hearted feeling…like something didn’t quite settle properly.

Frankly, the love between two people fell short. All efforts failed. Sad, but true.

( *Hold the phone* )

How possible is it that the underlying innuendo of all this is that, everything falls short without God at the centre? When we depend solely on ourselves or each other, and do not look to God, the perfect author, maker, and teacher of completeness, we are headed for complete despair.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.  The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6

God is the only avenue of true love and life. We can rely on ourselves but love from God is the only thing that can truly save us. He is a faithful lover of his creation, and He hopes for us to naturally seek him to find ultimate completeness in Him. He is the only way we can completely love, completely live, and completely change and transform our minds. He is eternal love and eternal life. We die without God, and everything else is an unreliable source.

Ultimately, I think the “tell me something good” message of Me Before You was meant to emphasize that life is meant to be lived, and not lived through. Everyone has the potential to be bold, and become their best self. But, life and love are gifts that don’t have to be accepted —- the choice is ours.

But God outlines a different option that unwraps our despair, and fills us with meaning, life, and love.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

 

 

 

 

The 5 Month Curve

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen for for what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18

I had my good cry already.

I cried because I came to the realization that May is not October, it’s a month that only happens in the fall, and it’ll be five months and a country away from another visit.

I’ve stretched my fingers into a large ‘L’ formation across my forehead to emphasize my sad conclusions.

Take that October! You’re an ‘L’ formation!

Rest assured, no matter the time, no matter the distance —- my heart will break from the absence but, the ache and the wait are forces I can withstand.

Take heart, God reminds us to,

“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually.” 1 Chronicle 16:11

I believe when God asks for us to seek Him he is thrilled by our desire, our intention to draw close, to praise, and to prioritize his truth in life. This is meant to be done always and ‘continually’ as the verse suggests.

I’m definetly a fan of setting new goals, improving my understanding and learn to better equip myself in the Word.

Through willingness and freedom through Christ, I want to take it upon myself as He did for me, and refresh the friendship that I have in Jesus; observe new ideas, places, spaces I have not yet seen. I hope to plant seeds in my spirit, and bloom more and more and more.

What better time than now?

—- Timeline —-

June 2016: Ephesians Devotional Series // Book study
July 2016: Philippians Devotional Series // Book Study
August 2016: Baptism // Colossians Devotional Series
September 2016: The Resurrected Life (14 Day) // Book study
October 2016: Proverbs: The Way of Wisdom (28 Day) // Book study
image

to love Him, is to love him

I’ve noticed a rather disheartening thing:

I haven’t picked up my Bible in a week, I’ve abandoned the devotional series I’ve been studying, and I also haven’t pinned to my ‘All Jesus Everything’ board on Pinterest for some time now. The gas is a tad low in the faith department.

It’s really been bothering me, and I’ve noticed that I’ve traded my precious ‘grace’ time with God, for ‘screen’ time. It’s not good at all, and it weighs my heart with disappointment.

Though, awareness is key and this is something that I can change.

Another burning thought, or grouping of thoughts that I’ve been processing is that,I have never been baptized. * GASP *

I think if you listen extra hard, you can hear the universal hum of ‘HUH?!’ harmonizing over the rolling hills and valley’s across the Christian community. * GASP AGAIN *

These past few years, I don’t hesitate to acknowledge that I am a follower of Christ. I believe this is my most valuable area of development thus far.

But in all seriousness, baptism should not be dependent on how others feel, but in fact a declaration about how you feel about God; it’s a public ‘I love you,’ that God influences Christians to say just at the right time.

Ever since I began dating the wonderful man in my life, baptism has been a pending thought on my heart and mind. I feel God’s boundless love emulated through my relationship, and this has been a consistent sentiment of God since it began. I’m never short of my I love you’s in my relationship, but I know I have to put this in to practice to the one who allows me to say this: God.

So, what better gift to give than my life back God? He has redeemed my soul, walked with me through all my experiences, and given me the desire to seek him.

Before I commit myself to a man, I must let God be the first to know that I am committed to Him.

May my faith and love continue to flourish, and my heart sing a lifetime of praises!

To love Him, is to love him.

Rose Colored Glasses

Passing by the wide open lake waters is the highlight of riding the train; it never matters what the weather is like, it’s persistently blissful – never interrupted – mesmerizing and zestful.

Even when you scan the glances of those riding the train, all attention is drawn to the peaceful scene out the window.

It’s a feast for the eyes to see, and respectfully, worth much more than one thousand words; it’s shiny, it’s bright, and it’s natural wonderment.

It’s the work of a detailed artist. God.

But…and there is always a but.

What is it about the goodness in life that we as humans love to hate, or tarnish in some way?

It feels necessary to deem things as ‘too-good-to-be-true’ a dream, or unreal.

Afterall, we know that roses have thorns too, right?

I frequently struggle with my rose colored ideas, and try to build a box of logic and ‘realistic’ comprehension around them. That usually results in a ruined idea, a sad conclusion, and a headache.

My pastor recently said,

“Faith is not blind leaping into the dark; faith is informed trust. It’s about facts, and it’s about encounter.”

I wouldn’t say my joy is fluffy and weightless in nature, but rather unmoving and sincere.

I would assume that this is the difference between sheer naivety and carelessness, and the awesome and strategic leaping (for joy) of God’s desires for ones life; ‘informed trust,’ and conscious faith.

Allowing myself to be dictated by ideals that aren’t anchored in God serves no purpose. God goes beyond all our logic and perpectives.

“However, as it is written: what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived – the things of God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

I think it’s astounding the way that God calls upon us in life. It’s unimaginable, dream – like, and far too rosey for even the ‘wiser’ ones among us.

But I believe, from the top to the bottom of my heart, that God only works perfectly and our logic is over – delighted by such things.

Everything just may be as it seems.

For God loves me more than I can see. He is in me, and I in Him – these blessings are a Heavenly thing, and the roses are lovely.
image

Purple & Extraordinary Things

Purple is my favorite color. I like it because…I just do. But I also like it because it’s something that pleases my eyes.

Soft Purple:
It’s brilliant the ways that God changes our lives.
In the beginning when it hits you…sometimes you have no idea that it’s even hit you. You begin a new adventure – something exciting, something wonderful, and you know it, but you really don’t. All you know at that time is that it is good.

Grey Purple:
It’s inspiring the way God works in our lives.
You are reminded every day that you are a cherished child that God, and He loves perfectly – but even children need to grow.

This is one of the deepest shades, and where you begin to understand that purple is a little more than one consistent color. God prompts you for his plan, and promotes change all over again.
This time the change is in you.

Purple:
Then, in a wonderful and mysterious way, God opens our eyes for us to see Him. We can see Him!
I am so filled up, and spiritually thrilled!
I’m purple. I’m bright and beautiful, purple!

It’s extraordinary the way God blesses us in life, promotes change, and clears our lenses to see his wonderful plan…. His amazing glory.

I wrote in my journal once that I wanted something extraordinary to happen to me; I was open for what God wanted to reveal in my life and within myself. He certainly has.

Purple is still my favorite color, and I’m thankful for my life, and the many hues and blends of it.

“God open my eyes to see how you are setting me up. Give me the courage to go along.”