Mustard Seeds

He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.  Matthew 13:31-32

I realized today in church that I’ll be doing some major ‘seed planting’ this year, next month, a few years, and preferably, a lifetime from now. 

Today, I was mainly fixed on the idea that next month I’ll have a new birthday. I’m getting baptized!

I turned 22 in June, but as of August I’ll be a bright, glowing, puffy – eyed newborn —- taking my first breathes of God-renewed life as a born-again, Christian. 

I’m thrilled to be taking the plunge (literally) and professing all that I have been given in life, back to the Creator of my life! 

My life-long commitment —- I’m sewing my soul with my greatest discovery, my truest friend, and my only hope. 

I’m not even there yet, and I’m feeling a mountains worth of grace-upon-grace-upon- grace. 

Look out trees…I’m’a comin’ 



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thatswhatevesaid : from 19 to 20

I changed my mind…

I won’t be attending my university lectures, I won’t ask whether you want a Grande or Venti sized latte, and I definitely won’t be used to living beyond the walls of my parents home.

19 was a hard year – I obtained a diploma in makeup, I landed a luxurious position in one of the best designer retailers, I excelled, I met amazing peeps….

 an utter catastrophe, I know.

I wanted to go a different direction, which introduced a butt-load of anxiety. A literal butt-load that costed me my childish perspective of life,  and forced me to re-evaluate who I wanted to be.  The best way to relieve myself of this indescribable doom, was to quit (makeup) and do something else ( dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb).

I didn’t know it at the time, but my anxiety was a wake-up call to real life; I was experiencing many things at once, and I wasn’t ready to handle it. BUT, I was ready to go back to school (coward). I wanted to be a student again, and thrive in the familiarity of old friends, homework, and the same-old-same-old. Basically, sew my ego back together.

The summer of my start-over consisted of working, preparing for school, and volunteering. I had a re-established plan for my future, new experiences as teacher, and an acceptance into university!

Throughout this time, I discovered how different I was becoming too; my room was cleaner, the T.V. was off, I had more clarity, a sense of self, I was thinking more about God, and my thoughts of adventure and independence were prominent.

I wanted to LIVE and break free of myself – my old self in a sense. I wanted to teaching people, work hard, be in new places, meet different people, and be full in the spirit of Christ. Even now it’s riveting to entertain such ideas.

Call it divine intervention, marvelous sorcery, or plain ridiculousness but… I decided to go back into makeup. 

Now, at 20, I’m being considered for a phenomenal position with Tom Ford cosmetics; which requires training from the best- of- the- best in New York City. I’ll also be moving on my own, becoming best friends with Christ, teaching makeup, launching my life, meeting people, and, oh yeah, living!

I changed my mind.

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thatswhatevesaid : naked

Mulan did it, Shakespeare is famous for it,  and Eve totally started it.

It’s that little game history likes to call deception.

Recently while I was getting dressed, painting my face, and showering in Guerlain’s signature scent, it dawned on me —- I’m kind of a master at this universal trickery.

I’m always so concerned with what is seen, rather than being seen. I’ve never really dared to be truly bare all the accessories. 

Maybe it’s an age thing, and I’m just getting ahead of myself. My self in the sense that it hasn’t reached itself yet.

Though somehow, I don’t think there’s a wall I have to hit or a milestone I have to make. What is a good day to legitimately be naked; bask in the bareness that is in fact, me?!

Not today, but surely soon! It’s already happening. I just wanted to put it in writing for the months leading up to my big reveal.

I’m growing up. Wow.

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